Monday, October 13, 2014

Life Is [Amazing].

If you think dating is hard as an able-bodied person, imagine it sitting down. There’s no hiding my baggage.  My wheels are up front and in your face. On the bright side, 
not too many people want a one-night stand with so much responsibility at stake.  Thus wheelchairs make for an excellent asshole repellent.
A lot of people think I should just settle because 'I found a guy who can accept my wheelchair.' But there’s so much more than that. I’m looking for someone who’s right for me on so many levels. So many people stay in crappy relationships out of fear 
that they won't be able to have anything better... I think that once you start to limit yourself and once you start to take away some of your confidence, you fall into the trap of settling. And you fall into the trap of thinking you’re not going to be accepted completely. But I think once you get to that place internally where you accept yourself wholeheartedly, you don’t need to do that! You don’t need to think you deserve less.

It's an easy way to not get hurt, you know what I mean? 
It’s an easy way to stay in your safe zone, if you don’t try to attain what you really want. But the truth is, in the end, it just makes you feel shittier. In the end, all it does is ruin your self-esteem. It is a vicious cycle.

Fear is a form of control. When you fear something, it gives you an excuse. It gives you an excuse not to do, or not to accept, and I think that finally accepting is actually an important part of life, no matter what. You know? Just getting to that place where you accept and realize that this is something you may not be able to change. That is giving up control. It’s hard for humans to do that. I see that being a challenge in relationships a lot of the time. 

I think the big key idea you should take away from this is:  Knowing when you’re ready for something. You shouldn’t beat yourself up about staying in a safe place, because that’s a natural place for humans to want to be. But I think there comes a point when you have to sink or swim. There really is that moment where you can stay in there and not live your life. I think every time you choose to go past that you realize how amazing life is. It opens up your world.

Google [It].

What I've learned about dating and social media...

For heaven’s sake, the first rule is to never Google, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Vine without him being 'in the know' and aware.

I have said it before and I will say it again: Googling is like reading your roommate’s dairy; It may be tempting to open the thing up and examine it because it’s sitting RIGHT THERE, and it may even be kind of exciting to read at first, but rest assured that very soon you will find out something about him that you wish you’d never known, and that will linger darkly in your mind forever.

Protecting yourself from that kind of temptation requires a fierce, self- loving discipline. It is not in any way “courageous” or an exercise in “facing the truth”---it is just self-destructive — just an excuse to feed yourself a bunch of empty calories of pure evil. You have absolutely nothing to learn.  

It is indeed difficult. If you’ve got this figured out, do let me know. As for me, I do my best to stay positive and ask myself if there’s anything I can learn from the experience. But such a thing is easier said than done.