Saturday, November 09, 2013

What Still Pulls On Your [Soul]?

I came across this passage several years ago and it changed my life. What still pulled on my soul was the quiet and then not-so-quiet call to become a storyteller. One tiny step after the next, and I found myself in the center of my life's dream. Remarkable. And now, all of these years later, in the quiet pauses between the noises of school and teaching and mentoring and living a deliciously full life, I'm hearing a new call to push up against a new edge of this creative life. To tell my story and express my work in the world in new ways.

It might not sound like much, but it's the scariest thing I've done in years. Because it meant that I had committed.

To show it. 
To teach. 
To not just believing my story mattered but telling it. 
In front of people.
I was nervous, but I did it. And the lesson of doing the things we didn't think we could do circled back around to my heart and taught me all of it's valuable, heart centering lessons all over again. 

The ones about making small moves while trusting that all the bigger metaphysical moves will shift with us. 
The ones about stepping into our courage because it allows us to witness our lives from a different angle. 
The ones about embracing our vulnerabilities and trusting the process of answering the urges, even when we've got gremlins galore.

I'm reminded of a quote that also changed my life not so long ago:

"....the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way." - WH Murray
I can't say for sure, but I'm thinking that the small but big move of telling my story and then actually using it during a small, sweet dinner this past weekend, was the beginning of something new. It's been a long time since I felt a sense of absolute relief (and a smidge of pride) that comes after we've pushed ourselves. I'm just so glad I did it.

I am reminded that my beautiful, messy, complicated story matters, and I'm telling it!

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