Sunday, September 30, 2012

Taking [Breath].

Farewell, September.  It’s been very umm, just very.  I’m a huge mix of content and tired and grateful and relieved.

Oh heavy heart. Black, rolling clouds. I hear you, I feel you. I cannot think for too long.  I cannot let my mind arrive in an older place. I cannot.  A time when life was cluttered and confusing and messy.  I remember so vividly how I struggled to find balance in that new and unfamiliar world.  I reminded myself daily that this journey would be taken one breath at a time…and it was. …and then there came a day when the fog settled even more than the day before and the sun was a bit more visible and I knew, despite all of the pain and the heartache, that I would make it through to the other side…I’ve realized my thoughts haven’t changed one bit.  The things I wanted then are still the same things I want now.

What matters to me most is human connection…the ability to sit across from someone and get lost in discussion for hours. The kind where you look at your watch and say, “We’ve been here for three hours?”  I feel most content when I see friends and family walk through the front door and make themselves at home....and amongst all of the chatter and laughter and snuggled in bodies on couches, if I listen closely, I can hear Happy.   It makes me smile every time and is the best feeling in this world. 

These are the things that matter the most to me…

I have been thinking a lot lately about so many things.  I have seen so many other people feeling the same way.  As I have said before I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. 

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