Little girl lost. Woman found.

I know that I am lucky and feel that my life is truly wonderful in many ways. However, I know that I have not done a good job recently balancing things. For any woman, it can be hard to find that balance of home, career, and person – and while I don’t feel I’m more special – or any different – from anyone else, I know that many of my experiences make me unique. I recognize that each of us is unique and deal with life’s challenges in our own way.

I still live my life at a very fast pace. My mind is always jumping from this project to that project – and from this role to that role. And at times, I get off balance…and begin to feel a little lost.
When I am unbalanced, I retreat into myself, and distance myself from those that I love. I know it isn’t necessarily the healthiest thing, but I figure it’s better than lashing out at those I am close to. I find myself in a bit of a fetal position.

What I need is that kick in the ass to put my feet back on the ground – and underneath me where they belong.

I can tell you one thing for a fact: my friends ground me. Sometimes it is a kind word. Sometimes it is a sympathetic ear. Sometimes it is an off-hand comment. No matter what it is, it never fails that my friends are a light in the dark places. There is always something that brings me around…events – and people – that give me the push to come back out of myself.

In November of last year, I went through a bought of feeling broken. I retreated into myself….and found myself more withdrawn than I had been since my accident. A friend encouraged me to make a weekend trip – telling me that sometimes, there is no better way to find yourself than to look out an airplane window at the blue sky – and patchwork of land below. She was right – and that weekend away put many of the pieces of my life back into perspective. Many of my problems are insignificant. There are others with worse problems. Many of my stresses are once again feeling manageable to me. There are those I know who are under far more stress.

The heartbreak I have experienced in recent weeks is easing. I am not the only one feeling pain – nor will I be the last. Sometimes, when you are feeling lost, suddenly out of nowhere, you begin to feel found again. Now, I don’t know if I will ever feel as if my life is balanced, at least I’m not in the fetal position. My feet are firmly on the ground again – well, at least on the floor.

Little girl lost. Woman found.