Thursday, July 25, 2013

A Magical [Journey].

Super honest post here. Beware. But there's a silver lining at the end, promise!

So, this is how I'm feeling at the moment. FRAZZLED.

I need some help. There's so much that I want to do, and I just can't do it all myself. There. I said it.  I had an a-ha moment a couple days ago.

I'm really afraid of being disappointed by other people. I'm afraid of being let down, and I'm afraid of being honest and direct when that happens.

I do NOT like being direct and honest when I'm afraid it'll hurt or upset another person. It's really, really hard for me. Like, I'll avoid it at all costs kind of hard.

I have extremely high standards for myself (big surprise, I'm sure), and I work really fast. I have a low tolerance for laziness and lateness. I get a lot done. I'm constantly working to improve and get better. And, for better or for worse, I expect other people to be this same way. To work at lightning speed, to deliver things BEFORE the deadline, to jump in fully. 

It's often easier to do things myself, because then I don't have to risk being disappointed by someone else.


So, I'm not quite sure what to do with this a-ha information yet, but it's weirdly making me more willing to want to work with other people. Clearly, I have some trust issues that I need to work through.

[that raspy voice is heaven]

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