Monday, October 15, 2012

[New] Beginning.

Listen to my truths...

[New Beginnings] Those two words together – New Beginnings. They carry so much meaning. I have sat here writing and erasing many times over.  But truly. When I think of all of the blessings that are in my life, the only word I can come up with is THANKFUL. 

This world is so different to me now.  The now.  The here.  The ever present.  The ever me. 
Are you wondering why?  
Because I’ve found a connection that is truthful.  Who can really explain why anyone falls in love? Or why you fall for one person but not another? You can name the things you like about a person but when it comes down to it, it’s uncontrollable who you fall for, whether it’s good for you or not.

For me, the easy and safe answer would have been “no.” I could have given him a long list of reasons why I couldn’t do it.  Then it hit me, hard.  I realized that he fights against every one of his instincts in order to be a good person. THAT’S what makes him beautiful to me.
  With him, the realization came when I started to see how different he is compared to the others around me: he’s kind in a way that others aren’t even after a divorce, he’s self-sacrificing, and he see through to the core of things and it’s why I’ve never been afraid of him, even though I  “should be”.
 I believe we see in each other, what others have missed.

Like a big exhale. Like a glass of wine at the end of a hard day. It was accidental but I totally love it when that kind of thing happens. I love seeing the little + big things that make us different but similar. That's beautiful. Someone wise once told me that saying YES to something is saying NO to something else.  Sometimes the truth isn't beautiful. But sometimes, just sometimes there are those rare moments.  True moments.  This moment.  Sometimes there's beautiful in the truth. 

Beyond that, some connections can’t be fully explained. Some people are just kindred souls.  Some people just have a powerful connection. Not everything in life can be explained.  When we trust our lives to the hand and pen of an unseen but ever-present God, He will write our lives into His story and every last one of them will turn out to be a great read. With a grand ending. And not just in spite of those catastrophes. Often because of them. The fact is, I'm over the moon excited. On stuff I can see and stuff that I sometimes can't.  Don't just wait and see. Live and see.  Life is funny that way, I guess.  And I am listening.

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